Friday, March 15, 2013
What am I doing?
I thought it was my dream to be home with my kids. I believe that it is. The problem is that I'm stuck. I love it but I hate it. What I thought would be, isn't always. I had a needy 4 year old, a screaming baby, and a dog pooping in the house at the same time. I had tried to take a shower and was literally doing everything I could to get dressed at that time as well. I'm home a lot. Most of the time with no car and no money. I feel like I get upset over things I shouldn't and for the most part, I don't really know what to do all day. I miss what my life used to be. I don't really know what that was except I miss having money. I miss being able to do things. I know it's wrong and I know this is a season and it will pass but man, it sucks. I know I need to be content but man it's tough. I know that so many would love to be in my position but man...it's tough. Most of the time I wonder how the bills will be paid and how I could possibly survive another day. I know what it's about, it's about faith. Not only faith though, it's about being content. Being content with what I have. God will give me the life he wants for me. I just have to wait on that and man is it hard.