Friday, March 15, 2013

What am I doing?

I thought it was my dream to be home with my kids.  I believe that it is.  The problem is that I'm stuck.  I love it but I hate it.  What I thought would be, isn't always.  I had a needy 4 year old, a screaming baby, and a dog pooping in the house at the same time.  I had tried to take a shower and was literally doing everything I could to get dressed at that time as well.  I'm home a lot.  Most of the time with no car and no money.  I feel like I get upset over things I shouldn't and for the most part, I don't really know what to do all day.  I miss what my life used to be.  I don't really know what that was except I miss having money.  I miss being able to do things.  I know it's wrong and I know this is a season and it will pass but man, it sucks.  I know I need to be content but man it's tough.  I know that so many would love to be in my position but's tough.  Most of the time I wonder how the bills will be paid and how I could possibly survive another day.  I know what it's about, it's about faith.  Not only faith though, it's about being content.  Being content with what I have.  God will give me the life he wants for me.  I just have to wait on that and man is it hard.

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